Would you like to come in? A sex-orientated drama

Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist

You’re with someone, in front of the house, just after a date. A last word forebodes some likely farewell. Turns out, you think of asking – care for a cuppa? A question apparently quite plain, could nevertheless be riddled by second thoughts and odds. This question is a code and gets decrypted by whom it may concern. To reply yes or no denotes inclination or not towards sexual embroilment.

Let’s get it straight. Mankind can’t help being earnest and forthcoming. We humans come up with codes in order to emulate some line of communication out of some detached and unbiased rationality.  An interpretation for the outlined above could do as – “would you be willing to pop in and have sex with me”? Obviously, this question is so bold. So then, why we resort on the line “would you like to drop in” devoid of sexual-orientated bias?

Let us not forget that we’re animals after all. Absolutely, along with some intellectual traits that render us slightly upper crust in relation to other living creatures. Our best trait is to create symbolism. We emulate icons and share them with our counterparts. Whence such creation be almost unlimited, ranging in accordance to prevailing cultures or subcultures, in turn sprawled all over the globe.

Animal species bear instinctive patterns that denote their likelihood for mating. Just watch any documentary on the subject to figure it out. A mating rite between beasts nearly always consists of a male showing off to a female counterpart. She, in approving the male as a sexual partner would give away some gesture that would denote her inclination to mating.  

We could translate that “would you like to come in”, between mankind as a stage of the mating process. Never mind, this one line would not be equally shared in all corners of the world. Depending on the society, cultural background, social sphere and age group, there’d be other codes for sexual approach of ilk.

For instance, it’s rumored that back in the world war two; the English women would read into a kiss as the last hurdle that would precede sexual intercourse. A kiss, as far as the American soldiers concerned, would not bear this connotation, being applied right from start of physical attraction.

Situation as such that caused some glitches of communication and inconveniences. Some English women might have found those American lads quite “hasty”. Otherwise, if the English lass displayed more receptivity that yank doodle could find her too “straightforward”.

A communication breakdown, in terms of human sexuality, doesn’t ensue only when people from different cultural background get together.

Now it’s back to square one. That “do you wanna come in” question hasn’t been formulated yet. You still in doubt as to whether would hear a “yes” or “no” as reply. Counterclockwise, the other one might as well be waiting on your move.

If reply happens to be good how marvelous. If bad however there’s nothing to worry about. This is so because such wavelength takes place at symbolic level. Thus maybe because of that it takes place that way, to give some leverage to choice making and avoid much compromising in case something gets out of hand. Perhaps this is not the right moment, maybe would in the long run. Try to consider the multitude of codes that we trade off when striking sex is at stake. 

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